Meeting my mother artist
My two-year-old has just fallen asleep. I can talk now… Are you still free or have I missed the window?
Becoming a mother artist has bought with it lots of new. A new vocabulary around time. A new sense of time. An immense appreciation and respect of time. A loss of time.
Time has shifted and a concept I took for granted as a maiden. The transition from artist to mother artist continues to teach me new ways of prioritising time to regenerate from the demands of motherhood.
I continue to need to be an artist. To think and talk like an artist. To continue making, collaborating, learning and unlearning and discovering from each work I immerse myself in. As a relatively new mother, there is a long pause after this desire as I no longer say yes at the drop of a hat when new work is offered. Another layer. I no longer make art in the same way I used to.
Birthing has transformed me.
I have changed internally as much as I have externally. My enquiries and curiosity about art making now more than ever are life-lasting enquiries. Longevity.
How can my research, my work and my dance hold space for and nourish those witnessing and being part of it?
How can we further connect and do art together?
Time. Process. Play. Holding.
Becoming a mother has changed the way I make art. Time has shifted. I sense and value time differently. I need to use time differently to make body-based performance work.
Improvisation, Meditation and Somatic Practice have been my support systems as a performer.
Supporting longevity as a dancer with a deeper awareness of the unknown. Today, I sense and value time differently. In training, in conversations, in sustenance and in support of my whole body being. As a mother time constantly reminds me of the importance of looking after myself.
Self-care is something I hear often in becoming a parent. Spas and massages were what I first imagined when I heard this as a new mother. Self-care today (after 2 years and 9 months of being a mother) is slowly transforming into the importance of how to nourish myself by attending to what gives me pleasure. Dancing and dancing with others gives me immense pleasure. So does getting lost in research that moves me. Seeing my little person laugh and laughing myself also gives me pleasure.
What has kept me going while being away from the studio, the theatre, the collaborative space?
My child.
My partner.
My Sister.
My family.
My practice.
The support of incredible unique individuals who show up to support us parenting without any questions or conditions (holding the vulnerable space we often find ourselves in as parents).
Training in Body Mind Centering with Alice Cummins and receiving a deeper awareness of the body systems.
This practice has held me, transformed me and inspired me.
Dancing, reflecting and chatting with Meredith Elton.
Slow conversations with artists.
My practice and process transformed as I gave birth to a new me. Parenting just like art places me in vulnerable spaces of not knowing.
There is an excitement I feel in this not knowing in the context of art yet when it comes to parenting not knowing can be frightening.
